Are you a ‘wedding person’? Do you find yourself holding back the tears, trying not to ruin your mascara as you exhale and try not to be overcome and start sobbing into your bubbly?
Last week I went to my cousin’s wedding. My beautiful cousin married the love of her life, another woman. My god, it was beautiful. So beautiful it’s difficult to put to words.
The ground we gathered on in the Australian bush was warm, earthy and solid, despite it’s illegality.
The words shared were genuine and deeply heartfelt. They fell on our open ears, passed through our warmed hearts and dropped softly out our blue-green eyes.
The love being celebrated was palpable, grounded in respect and delightfully joyful.
Another cousin and I sat on the wooden bench in the sun-drenched natural rock cathedral, white-trunk gumtrees gently swaying overhead, dusty toes beneath our thinly strapped dresses, shoulders warmed in sun and us giggly waiting for ladies in white to arrive. I always get nervous for the wedding-ees at this point, walking down that aisle with all eyes on them. But as soon as I saw my cousin and her wife-to-be walking with their dads and their 3 month baby girl all cuddling down the aisle, I exhaled. Beautiful. Cue: tears.
Each moment then and after was love-filled. The ceremony took place at one end of the natural cathedral, the women standing tall on a raised rock at the end, framed by a hand-made alter, lovingly made from plaited tree branches and weaved wild bush flowers. Free from the requirements of legal weddings, every word was blissfully true, un-encumbered by legislative rumblings, just requited love in its purest form. A commitment of self to the other and to their life ahead as “us”.
A big party followed of course. The speeches were strong, the food divine, the grappa shared and the dancing wild. Kids ran amok, aunts danced with new in-laws, and one of my little cousins became overly wine-induced excited about the fact that all our family have exactly the same eyes. She would run up to another relative, yell “let me see your eyes”, stare them out, claiming loudly how she couldn’t believe we all had the same eyes. Blue-green, with a tinge of hazel, and quick to shed love-tears.
That same cousin and I were sitting together during the speeches. I’m not sure at what point the love and beauty became too much for me, but I turned to her and said “I think I want a gay wedding, its so damn beautiful!”. Her response was immediate and emphatic, slamming down her glass in agreement “Oh my god, me too!”. We laughed at our own excitement and being so overcome with the love in the room.
There is something deliciously stunning about love without any requirements, borders, restrictions. Love that grows from giving love and being loved right back.
“And in this moment I swear, we are infinite” – Stephen Chbosky